Berry Rec.

I'll be your doormat, I'll be your rug.
I'll be your dogsbody, I'll be your mug.

I'll be your handyman, your slave of all trades.
I'll be your obedient bitch on mininum wage.

North/South Division

I wish I was born a Northerner,
Bursting out of the womb wearing a cloth cap.
Firmly grasping a pint o' bitter, roll-up in my mouth.

I wish I was born a Northerner,
Down't pit wit' pick axe in my hand,
Work thirty hour days and then collapse exhausted.

I wish I was born a Northerner,
I'd wear my heart on my sleeve,
I'd of been close to the theatre of dreams.
Red and black scarf round my neck.
Hollering as I drew the sonic rapier from its sheath.

I wish I was born a Northerner,
I'd have socialised with the elite,
Drinking from the lyrical fountain of Ryder, Morrissey, Lawrence and Hughes.

I wish I was born a Northerner,
Cos the South is full o' clowns,
Scenesters, shisters, shallow bastards
Cunts that'd sell you out for half an ounce.