Pages

Archives of Pain

I wonder who you think you are
You damn well think you're God or something
God give life, God taketh it away, not you
I think you are the devil itself

Quote by: Mother of victim of Peter Sutcliffe

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Pebble Beach

I'd love to cast away these cynical eyes, To allow them to drift away on high tides. To demolish then reconstruct these sacred shrines, To worship then deny these false idols. To set sail for brighter Brighton times, To free ourselves from our shipwrecked lives. Never to moor upon strangers' minds, Never to drown in these crashing tides.

2 comments:

  1. Great sense of rhythm in this piece with a really effective oblique rhyme scheme.

    Really love the image of casting cynical eyes into the sea like pebbles - it's a really strong central image.

    In order improve it further I would suggest that you break 'castaway' into two words 'cast away' and make 'up on' into one word: 'upon'. I think this will better facilitate the central image.

    ReplyDelete